The Triple Traps of Perfectionism

Hello again!

I love books that challenge my existing views and offer new perspectives. When you encounter different viewpoints, not only does it broaden your thinking, but it also helps you gain more fundamental insights. Adam Grant’s Hidden Potential is one such book I recently read. Honestly, I wanted to quit early because the book started with some pretty obvious points, but as I kept reading, it turned out to be truly impactful.

Today, I want to talk about one of the book’s topics: perfectionism. In some areas of my life, I tend to be quite the perfectionist (while in other areas, I act like I have screws loose). Perfectionism is the driving force that pushes me to work harder and is a key factor in producing satisfying results.

However, on the flip side, when things don’t meet my expectations, I get extremely stressed. I vaguely felt that perfectionism isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. Reading this book made me clearly understand the traps of perfectionism that I had intuitively sensed.

The Three Traps of Perfectionism

In Hidden Potential, Adam Grant explains that perfectionists fall into three main traps while striving for flawless results.

First, perfectionists obsess over insignificant details. They can’t see the forest for the trees—or rather, they focus too much on each leaf.

Second, they avoid unfamiliar situations or challenging tasks that could lead to failure. This means they hesitate to venture into unknown territories or learn something new because they can’t endure the inevitable clumsy and inadequate early stages. As a result, they keep refining only the skills they already have. Even when they feel the need to try something new, they end up just thinking about it without taking action.

Third, when they make mistakes, perfectionists berate themselves. The most constructive way to handle mistakes or failures is to reflect on them—understand why things went wrong and strive to achieve better results next time. But perfectionists, being obsessed with failure, spend their time blaming themselves instead.

Adam Grant highlights these three traps. If you’re curious, I’d like to add my own thought: I believe perfectionism causes us to lose consistency. It ties into the second trap because everything has to look pristine from the start. In the beginning stages, things are bound to be rough—reading a few pages of a book won’t instantly give you insights, and working out for a month won’t make you super fit overnight. But perfectionists only see the “perfect picture” in their minds, so when they don’t meet that standard, they blame themselves and give up. That’s why I tried learning yoga a few times but ended up quitting.

So, Adam Grant says, “Perfectionism traps us in a narrowing field of vision and makes us avoid mistakes.” Which of these traps hit you the hardest?

Embracing Appropriate Imperfection

Because of these traps, Adam Grant rejects perfectionism. He suggests that we should let go of perfectionism and instead pursue “appropriate imperfection.” He explains, “The driving force behind growth isn’t the pursuit of perfection, but the high standards we set for ourselves.” At first, I didn't quite get what this meant. Isn’t setting high standards just another form of perfectionism?

Grant argues that to overcome perfectionism, we need to pursue precise goals. The reason is that having specific goals—not vague perfectionism—allows us to focus on what’s most important and know when to stop.

it’s ultimately a matter of prioritization. The perfectionism described in Grant’s book is about striving for perfection in every aspect without considering priorities. On the other hand, setting high standards for ourselves means evaluating and determining how high we need to aim in each area after prioritizing from a broader perspective.

Oh, and of course, given that you do your best. 😉

The Overblown Implication Effect

Lastly, let me briefly explain what Grant refers to as the “overblown implication effect.”

Adam Grant points out that a fatal flaw of perfectionists is their obsession with the idea that a single failure labels them as failures. However, people don’t think you’re a terrible chef just because one of your dishes didn’t turn out well, nor do they consider your writing awful because of a typo, or treat you as an inconsiderate person because of one mistake. This is what Grant calls the “overblown implication effect.”

He says,

“When people evaluate your abilities, they give much more weight to your best moments than your lowest. (...) People judge your potential based on your peak performance, not your worst moments. Maybe you could be a bit kinder to yourself.”

How about you? In which areas of your life do you tend to be a perfectionist?

See you next week!